Good Monday Morning! It's a Happy Monday!
A New Beginning with more Grace which is needed... Right?
My weekends are usually filled with errands mixed with some relaxation, and sometimes I even muster up the energy to entertain my mom or boyfriend, spend some quality time with my daughters, and clean my small apartment. Well, that's my Saturdays at least. However each Sunday is my day of quietness and meditation. Sunday's I think about God and purpose. I like to take this quiet time to pray, read and contemplate my next move in life. Pray to God that I'm moving in the right direction.
My past, as well as a lot of people like me...has experienced some challenging and hurtful moments of abandonment, neglect, mental abuse, and judgment that we carry around with us through life. These things become very heavy. Its a spiritual burden. These burdens, or bags of old bullshit are just that...bullshit. That's what I like to call it..... We tend to tell ourselves because of all the bad and hurtful situations.....we are who we are because of all the bad. We ponder and feel sorry for ourselves constantly telling ourselves that "things don't change"
These burdens that we carry are a huge hindrances. They stop us from believing in ourselves. We procrastinate with our next big idea or inspirations because we listen to our past hurts and let it shape our current and future endeavors . I must admit these bags of BS are hard to shake off but it is very possible to put them down and leave them behind. On our journey through life we will pick up more BS. However knowing that it is normal and always an option to drop the BS, I encourage you, and I encourage myself to keep moving forward. We are learning as we go, and all the hurt makes us stronger but first we must let go.
One phrase that really helped me this Sunday is "Letting Go". Take a deep breath....exhale..... pray and affirm with me that I'm Letting Go of...
1. Letting go of Comparison
- I will not constantly compare my self to your day 100 to my day 10. My path is different than yours. I may move slower than others to reach my goal but I'm still moving. Therefore when I do reach my goal, I know it was with my hard work and determination. I was focused and I stayed in my own lane. It was a winding road with some hill and obstacles. but I made it! I'm proud of myself, I'm Happy! Now it's time to move on and start my next goal. I hope others do the same in their own time...
- I sincerely hope we all make it! There is room for everyone to reach the same goal. I want to focus on my own accomplishments and not constantly look over my shoulder to see if you are on my heels or passing me. If you pass me than, I may pat you on the booty and root for you. but please believe that I am on my way... and I am not far behind.. I will reach my goal. There will always be someone ahead of me and there will always be someone behind me.
- Bad decisions making are mistakes that we all make and reap the consequences for some time afterwards. But we need to accept and work through these mistakes to either fix or live through and with it.. make the best of unfavorable situations. some we can change some we have to live with.. and that is perfectly fine. I let go my regrets and embrace my possibilities that are ahead of me.
4. Letting go of Guilt
- We have all said mean things and done bad things that were hurtful to others, and we feel guilty about it for a long time and tend to punish ourselves for it for years to come. So every bad situation that happens to us we feel that its deserving, its karma. yeah maybe karma is the case. But we cannot change the future what is done is done... we must sincerely apologize hope for sincere forgiveness and push through and let go of the guilt. stop beating yourself up. God is forgiving and there is plenty of grace to go around. Stand in your TODAY and look forward to tomorrow and "do better". Your "do better" will count.
- Whew..... for me fear is a big factor with moving forward. I know that fear is an illusion. and most of the time once fear is overridden, your realize it was silly to be fearful in the first place! that task, project, or adventure was pretty darn easy and not so bad.. I just didn't know any better. We all fear the unknown. However we learn and become much smarter and courageous once we conquer that one fearful jump. The next jump is a little easier right? Lets take the leap of faith and let go of fear.
- Humph.....Who am I angry with? The people who have done me wrong, the job? myself? I do realize, no matter how hard I try, I cannot control or change people and their behavior. I accept that people are people and each individual is different and not exactly like me. We all do things differently, think differently and move differently. So as hard as it is to let go of anger... I will continue to strive toward letting go of it. Its hurting me more than the person I am angry with. insert side eye stare. let go girl let go
7. Letting go of Opinions
- About 5 weeks ago, on my way home from a lovely vacation in Montego Bay, I stopped at the mall in NJ and caught a good sale on a lovely new hat and scarf at a wonderful name brand store. The sale was 2 for one , so I purchased both very nice items for $10 buck in total. These kinda bargains excite me. When I tried them on in the store I loved the look on me. CUTE! I was feeling awesome! Until my mother came over on this Saturday and quickly shot down my look. She said "please take that off, I don't like that hat, and those new cat eye frames either" Clutch my pearls! This lady hurt my feelings damn it! I just looked at her and as respectfully as possible told her.... "well I like it. that's what matters". Family is something else especially parents. They feel like they can give their unsolicited opinion without realizing it's hurtful. However, I stand on my own, pay my own bills and raise my kids. I keep apt #5G spectacular, I cook our meals alone. I work for my own paycheck and buy clothes for myself and my girls. Although my mothers opinion is appreciated when asked for, I don't have to listen. or be highly offended. My world, My life My freedom. Your opinion is not law and I'm free to do what is best for me. I'm free to like what I like. I have let go of other's opinions and I will sport my hat when the weather is cold. because I can and I like it. Feel me? This is a mere example of opinions. This holds true for friends who believe you should do things their way. I may listen sometimes; however if I don't deem your opinion fitting for my lifestyle... get over it. Let us "let go" of opinions. I say this definitively.
Love is Love
Jackie
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